11 o clock in the evening in Bocas Del Toro, Panama. My last night in town. Bags packed, exhausted and ready to shut my eyes for seven hours before the front desk of Bocas Del Toro Hotel calls to wake me up for my 650am taxi to the airport.
Two weeks in Panama.
The purpose quickly evolved from a house hunting trip with my father, to a healing journey for me (one I have been searching for, for a long while), to a mini vaca jam packed with introductions to my potential future retreat centers and self-created dreams.
All that’s left is grey ash with white and black speckles and HE is no longer here. AT ALL. Ok spirit, ok energy, ok memory, but not really. Not in the way we desire each other most. Sure, life is an eb and flow of strength (convincing yourself you are ok because you have mastered the beautiful acceptance of life, its mysteries, its joys and its tears.) But on the other slope of confidence, faith, acceptance, optimism and positivity is the realization that this is all very real, unchangeable and extremely painful.
For as much as the world may or may NOT try, nobody ever really understands or feels anothers’ pain.
It is present for you and you alone, to the capacity of your hearts vibration.