At the end of all the exercises I realized that I actually entered this process pretty complete. There are definitely some things to be worked on like, I hate getting in trouble or disappointing someone of authority (still haven’t found what inner completion needs to be made there- haven’t taken the time yet). But I will say, I took myself through this exercise and I realized as a small kid the shame and embarrassment I can feel with “doing something wrong” is overwhelming. It rattles me to the core. It can even put the fear of God in me to be careful, overly respectful and perfect, but it creates timidity within which hides my voice and inner being. This could possibly be related to the rot pattern of I’m not good enough (or perfect). Then how I would experience the outside world from that space is: the world is a threatening place, unsafe, unforgiving, abandoning and hurtful. Something that I may say to myself is, “I can’t win”. This is an example to give you a real-life example so that you can understand what is a sign of incompletions vs being complete with an old incident, belief or issue.
I had a harder time with this because I don’t “feel that way”, but have been trying to see how I may have felt as a kid to dive back into the expereince and feelings. (Upheaval my completions, make them incomplete and complete them again…I guess!)
I do have to say a couple things.
1) For those of you who are interested in natural medicine, WOW! I am reminded every day of the power of Naturopathic Medicine. I truly believe with integrity, authenticity and responsibility for myself and others that Naturopathic Medicine (Biotherapeutic Drainage therapy) will enrich your life and as a result, enrich the lives of those around you, including me! I know I “shouldn’t compare” as that is the poison that feeds my root pattern, but what I can see in my patients, myself, those who surround me and others that desire to be treated is that natural medicine can really shift your root patterns and the attachments you have to them both physically and mental/emotionally. Being a patient myself and treated with Biotherapeutic Drainage Therapy it has definitely positively changed my life and I am honored to offer that to others and I can see so clearly how much it has matured and healed my inner being.
2) The root pattern work is good. I see how powerful it can be for people. I actually had the honor of doing 3 sessions with two amazing IA-ers (one of which was an ashramite) on my root patterns prior to attending this program. So with my combined efforts, I actually came into this process feeling rather complete and thus far, although I’m still digging, I’m finding that I am good enough, I have done the work, I am complete. In a meditation the other day, people were really releasing their internal suffering and for the entire hour I was just in a space of nothingness- no thought- and out of no where my inner voice just said you are a perfect being.
To add to my completeness my Darshan #4 request was : I presented SwamiJi with my fathers ashes and asked for him to bless my fathers soul and release him of his incompletions. He granted me that request and told me to sprinkle his ashes in the healing pond.