At this point Kailen and I are dreaming of cashing in our experience and heading to Europe as we are having a hard time finding the value in the expereince we signed up for here. Granted, the program hasn’t even started (haha), so I’m thinking there has to be some ROOT PATTERN here that is asking us to go. Although, I will say I usually rise to the challenge of performance and expansion, so it’s very interesting that I am so willingly to back down, to not face this challenge with a child-like attitude of curiosity and the openness to receive.
I do notice when I’m exploring alone here, I move with that child-like curiosity and playfullness, open to all possibilities from an inner desire of learning and experiencing.
When I’m with my partner, all I want to do is escape and go do something fun!
So, todays endless debate directed me to my angel cards. 5 shuffles, 3 cards- Mermaids, what do you want to tell me? What do I need to hear right now? 1) Make A Decision, 2) Positive Energy, 3) Watch Your Thoughts
Fascinating response! And Kailen, 1) Break Free, 2) Mother Healing, 3) Ready, Set, Go
Needless to say, I feel as if I’m going against my will to stay, but we are committing to the first 10 days- root patterns. What’s coming up for me right now is extreme anger. Ok, it’s not like I’m mean to people and don’t have a positive thing to say. I’m still smiley old me, still gladly attending all the events, but my internal thoughts and physiological reactions around some experiences are filled with irritation, resistance, sarcasm and doubt . Doubt that this program will work and a stubborn willingness to prove me right. Oh that’s terrible and crazy, right?! Clearly that attitude isn’t going to get me anywhere. So, I’m changing my attitude. I’m here. The program is paid for. And I’m going to have fun and get the most out of it I can. As a matter of fact, many people here and beyond believe Swamiji has mystical powers enabling him to heal with his touch, awaken your biogenetic DNA from this lifetime and past lifetimes, that he can blast away your karmic energy and your current root patterns that are causing suffering in your life (suffering is a broad term for any degree of imbalance and emotional distress). I say, blast me swami! Take away the negativism that I may not even see that is preventing me from getting all I want out of life, awaken my biogenetic DNA to the amazingness that I am and beyond my present knowing, enlighten my soul with light, love and radiant energy! Support my physical, mental and emotional health in all capacities. Help me evolve more into my life purpose and personal powers that I can show up and help others transform into their greatness. Take away any physical pain (old injuries) and strengthen my body and soul to prevent future imbalance. Lets play!